ohshititsgreg:

A part of me dies every time no one gets my joke

crush:  so who's your crush
me:  *soulja boy voice* YOOOUUUUUUU

mom:  you know he's old enough to be your father
me:  the father of my children
mom:  what
me:  
me:  what

Plot twist:  You're out with friends, and your hair looks great.
Plot twist:  Your hair looks great.
Plot twist:  You're out with friends.
Plot twist:  You're out
Plot twist:  friends